Which Side of the Bed Do You Claim?

Comic from chaoslife.findchaos.com

To those that are able to have a bed all to themselves, I envy you. I know my fiance would kill me for that comment, but it's true. Nothing like crashing into a bed, after a rough days work, all by yourself, crawling into a ball or all spread out, without a care in the world whom you may accidentally slap, scratch, or kick, and just fall asleep. That must be the life. Sadly, most of my adult life, I have shared the bed with someone. Although, there was this short period of time that I could claim the bed all to myself. Oh how wonderful that was. I slept like a baby.

I never really had a claim to a certain side of the bed in a relationship. It was always the guy. Here recently, well maybe in the past year I should say, my insomnia has been in full swing. I would not wish insomnia on my worst enemy. Let me give you a little insight to my daily sleeping pattern. 

     I crawl into bed, ready to fall asleep. I drift off peacefully to dreamland and escape the stressful world around me. My dreams begin to stream before me, like a movie marathon of a life of mine that is unknown to me. Then in my dream, I am frantically searching for a place to relieve myself because I seriously have got to go pee. After fail attempts in my dream to pee, I realize, "Dammit! I have to pee!" So, I  awake from my dream and stumble into the bathroom. Once I am done, I crawl back into bed, but first, I have to check the time. "Are you serious?! I have been asleep for a whole two hours?" Discouraged, I tuck myself back in and fall asleep again. Except this time, not peacefully. I usually end up waking up groggy or unknowingly to sit up on the side of the bed or just sit up in the bed, have awake wondering why am I up. I am exhausted. Then I try to lay back down and fall asleep to do the same thing again, over and over again. FML!

I have tried everything to reduce the insomnia- from decreasing active stimuli to taking Melatonin as a sleep aid. I can't take Tylenol PM, Nyquil, or anything that is meant to help you sleep that isn't an herb. The diphenhydramine, aka Benadryl, causes me extreme anxiety and restlessness. That's worse than insomnia itself.

In the past month, I think I had found a solution, or at least a temporary solution to my insomnia. It was found by accident too. One morning, after getting home from work, I woke my fiance up so he could get ready for work. Once he got up, I crawled onto his side of the bed because it was warm. As he hopped into the shower, I drifted off. Eight hours later, yes eight hours later, I wake up fully refreshed and had the best sleep ever! I thought maybe the insomnia had caught up with me and I was able to just sleep. Not the case. It so happens, that when we moved into the new place, we switched sides of the bed. I have been suffering from bad insomnia since we have moved here.

Anyway, my fiance and I have been discussing for the past month about switching sides of the bed so I can rest better. When we finally did it, I have not had much of a problem of not getting enough sleep. I still get up to pee in the middle of my sleep. I still look at the clock after I pee. What I don't do is sit up, toss and turn, anything that disrupts my sleep completely. It has been a wonderful week!

So...apparently, the right side of the bed (the right side of the bed if you stand at the foot of the bed facing towards it) is my favorite side to sleep on. What's yours?

My Skin Regimen

Yes, it has been a long, long while since I have done a makeup review or a blog at that. I have been slacking to no end and my only excuse is I am lazy. I would like to say that life in general is the culprit, but come on, how long does it take for me to type a review and post it? Anyway...

I have dry skin and it can be god awful at times. I'm talking dry, flaky skin. It's mainly on my T-zone where others tend to be more oily. People who have dry, flaky skin know that if you don't have the right foundation on, it will show every imperfection and every flake on their face. I hate it. Before I could even think about searching for a new foundation, I wanted to find the perfect skin regimen for my skin type.

I did loads of research on the internet and watched tons of YouTube videos on how to treat my type of skin. Sadly, none of those really worked for me. I finally just combined bits and pieces of advice that was given, that worked for me, and arrived at my now daily skin routine.

Because I do have dry skin, I do not use any facial washes that lather into a foam on my face. Facial cleansers that foam tend to strip away moisture, at least on me they do. As my skin changes from the cooler months to the warmer months, so does my skin regimen.

In the cooler months, when my skin suffers from dryness the most, I use a cream cleanser like Noxzema. Yes, Noxzema. I love the way it tingles and it adds the necessary moisture my skin needs. I do not exfoliate my skin during the cold season because it causes my skin to become more dry and it hurts like hell. It feels the equivalent to rubbing a black coarse nail file all over my face, not that I have done that, but I am assuming it would feel like that. For a moisturizer, I use Estee Lauder Daywear. At night, after washing my face, for the time being, I apply Estee Lauder Time Zone Night (it's a sample bottle, but a little goes a very long way). This skin routine decreases the dryness and flakiness of my skin that the harsh cold winter air causes.

In the warmer months, my skin is normal to dry to oily. Because my skin wants to keep me guessing, I use a gelish type facial cleanser like CeraVe (this was on my Hit or Miss blog post I did eons ago). This too does not lather. Not only does this leave my face feeling refreshed, but it helps tone down the redness of rosacea my cheeks have. Such a wonderful and inexpensive product. I also begin to lightly exfoliate my skin since my skin becomes oilier. My go to exfoliater has always been St. Ives Apricot Scrub. It's gentle and does not irritate my sensitive skin. I use this about 1-3 times a week depending on how my skin feels that week. On oilier days, for my moisturizer, I use Shiseido Pureness. It's a gel moisturizer and prevents my face feeling like a greasy mess at the end of the day. On the normal to dry days, I continue to use my Estee Lauder Daywear.

I have been doing this skin regimen for about a year and I haven't had any problems with dry flakes on my skin in a long time. I may have some from time to time, but not nearly as bad as it had been. I had been battling dry flakey skin since my late 20's. I wish I discovered this skin routine years ago. God I hate getting old.

I do want to add, no matter what season it is, if I know I am going to be exposed to direct sunlight for more than 10 minutes, I will use Eucerin Everyday Facial Protection with a SPF 30 instead of my regular facial moisturizer. Everyone knows or should know that the sun's UVA rays sucks the youth out of our lovely skin. This is why it boggles me why people insist on tanning. Yes it looks good, but while you age your skin, I will do my best from preventing the dreadful aging process (without medical intervention). I don't mean to offend anyone that enjoys tanning, but come on people, educate yourself. No one is invincible to the damaging effects of UVA and UVB rays. Fake and bake is the way to go.

I am missing the CeraVe facial cleanser from this photo of mine because I just ran out of it and have yet to go to the store and get more. All products in this photo and mentioned were purchased by my hard earn money and not given to me.

My Nightmares

Ever since I was a child, I have had nightmares, not night terror, but nightmares. My nightmares scared me so much, I started sleeping with a bible like one sleeps with a teddy bear. I guess it gave me a sense of security, but I did continue to have them regardless. 

Of course, I can't recall many of my nightmares I had when I was younger, but a couple did stick with me. Many of my nightmares had a reoccurring theme. I would be walking up some stairs that had a door at the end. The closer I got to the door, the more frightened I became. I never opened the door because I was afraid of what was behind it. Plus, I would usually wake up from the dream in complete panic and terrified. 

This next nightmare from when I was a teenager always stuck with me. I don't know why. I see it as if I had it just the other day. Anyway, I am standing in my bedroom and I see and old lady standing by the doorway holding a tray of tea light candles floating in water. Every candle was lit. I asked her what she was doing and what was the tray of candles for. She told me she was waiting for me and handed me the tray of candles. She told me the candles would let me know if something evil was near by when they all blew out at the same time. Sure enough, shortly after being given the tray, a light breeze came from behind me and the candles blew out. The old lady told me to run, run as fast as I can. I ran out of my bedroom into the family room. I could feel something evil was chasing me. I ran towards the stairs to go upstairs. As I leaped for the stair, I felt something grab my foot and began pulling me down. I fought and fought to only wake up in panic and fear yet again.

Thankfully, as an adult, nightmares have decreased by more than half. I could go months by without having a nightmare. Sadly, when I do have nightmares, they come in waves. Meaning, I will have one or two a week for several weeks and then nothing again. I don't know if it is stress that causes these flares up or what. Much of what you dream about is associated with what you had watched, done, saw, etc throughout your day. I can honestly say that the nightmare that woke me up last night had nothing to do with anything the day before.

Before this current nightmare I had, I do recall a dream that set the stage of fear in me for the nightmare to come into play. It's really a dream within a dream. If you know what I mean. My dreams are vivid. It plays in my head as if it were a movie. But like a dream, it's glitchy. I can go from one place to another without thinking of how I got there.

I was in a city alley back behind a church. I had keys to it. They were given to me by the pastor for some odd reason. I wasn't suppose to have them but I did. I am now inside, I am watching the pastor talk about wedding details to the brides family. The brides father is upset about not being able to have a room in the church for the bride's grandparents to sleep in. The pastor says, he just can't do that. They wouldn't last a night. After he said that he leaned forward towards me and he said, "I should know, it happened to me." (Insert fear of the unknown.) Next, I find myself in a 3 story triplex by the church. I am fumbling with keys trying to lock the door. I am walking down the flight of stairs and I see 2 ladies, a mother and a daughter. I can feel them wondering what I am doing in the building, but they see I have keys and able to lock and unlock doors. I am down in the triplex foyer now. I open the door, I feel like something isn't right, someone is watching me. Once again, I am fumbling with they keys to try to lock the front door. They keys bend and I can't get them to lock the door. I am walking towards the church again, I see piles of bodies wrapped in white body bags. I hear a lady saying you are not suppose to be here, but she sees that I have keys to the church. I hear her say to someone, "She is just a child, how does she have keys?" Again, the feeling of someone watching me, fear begins to set in. Then, income nightmare...

Lying in bed, starting to drift off, I get this eerie feeling that something is watching me from the foot of the bed. I try to ignore it by covering my head up with the blanket. Knowing that that wasn't working, somehow or another, I find myself clutching the bible. The same exact bible I use to fall asleep with when I was younger. I clutched it with all my might and began praying to God to keep me safe from whatever is lurking in the shadows. With my head still underneath the covers, I realize my younger sister is in the bed with me. I try to wake her up by shoving her and whispering her name. When that didn't work, I began pinching her and calling out her name. Finally, I was able to slightly awaken her. I told her to turn on her light on the nightstand. I felt her sit up, but her light never came on. With the overwhelming of fear still lurking in the shadows at the foot of my bed, I took a deep breath, removed my head from underneath the covers and sat up in bed to turn on my lamp on my nightstand. As I reached for the lamp, I felt arms wrapping around me. I thought at first it was my sister, but I knew she was no longer beside me and was definitely not her arms around me. Trying to fight through the fear, I continued trying to turn the lamp on. It wouldn't. Before this fear could completely engulf me, I wake up and actually turn on my nightstand lamp. Still shaken with fear, I grabbed my laptop and decided to write it all down. So here we are now.

I hate nightmares. I hate the feeling of fear I have after waking up from them. I recall one time I had a nightmare, I couldn't wake up no matter what I did. By the time I was able to wake myself up from the nightmare, I was in tears. That was within the past year. Is this common? To have nightmares like this as an adult? If anyone decides to read this, please let me know in the comments below about your nightmares and how often they happen to you.

Late Night Thoughts and Ideas

Have you ever laid down in bed, pulled the covers up to your chin, got your pillow adjusted just right, you get ready to close your eyes, and suddenly your head gets bum rushed by a bajillion thoughts and ideas or maybe just events of the the past day? Well, I just so happened to not experience that tonight, but I have previously and totally hate it.

So, here I am cruising the web searching for scrubs to buy because that's what people mainly wear in my profession. I am kinda sick and tired of the ones I currently have and washing scrubs every so often in a week gets old and I want to be lazy in the middle of my work week. It's really been awhile since I really shopped for scrubs. I mean yeah, I went to the local Wal-Mart and picked up scrubs for work because I needed them ASAP and that was the only place I knew that sold scrubs at that time and for a decent price.

I promise you, I am getting to my idea...

Anyway, I am looking at how the style of scrubs have severely changed over the years. They are no longer the boxy, unattractive stiff pieces of fabric. They have really evolved with the times and are pretty cute and stylish. As you can tell, I am thoroughly impressed. This is what starts my gears turning. By the time I was done purchasing my scrub sets, I had a well thought out idea. I probably have a full season line up of scrubs in my head. Currently just female line up, but I am sure I could come up with a stylish male one too. I so want to flip the light on and start scribbling down outfits. I am afraid I am going to forget this idea. It's kinda the reason I semi blogged the idea, hoping that the ideas would stay with me.

Ok, so, I have the idea, how do I go about executing it? I can't sew. I seriously suck at it. Do I go find someone that can follow a drawing, make it into a pattern and go from there? Also, how do I go about selling my idea? My target group really isn't around where I live. I am sure I would have a few customers, but living in a farming community that is absolutely ghetto probably wouldn't give a damn.

Ugh, I am too tired right now to continue thinking. Maybe when I get up in the morning, I can ponder more on this. I could also drop some doodles down to and show you all what I am talking about.

'Til then...

Night all!

Makeup My World

As long as I can remember, makeup was never really part of my world. Yeah sure, I experimented with it as a teenager, but I always thought of it as a hassle; therefore, never made time for it. As I got a little older, I would buy makeup here and there. Maybe a some lip gloss here, some face powder there. Nothing really that could make a whole face up. It was pointless anyway. I had no clue how to apply makeup. No one had ever taught me and I never asked. Honestly, I never really cared. I had it in my mind that makeup was evil and girls only used it to make themselves more desirable or trashy. Either way, I believed that makeup took away from their natural beauty and that they were all fake. I was all about being oh nat-tu-ral. Plus, guys like it better when you didn't spend an hour or two in the bathroom getting ready. Especially the one I was dating in my early twenties. He liked that I would just throw my hair back and off we went. 

About 7 years ago, maybe a little longer, my ex-mother-in-law had asked me why I really don't wear makeup. She was always wearing makeup when out and about etc. She was and more than likely is still a beautiful women. I just told her makeup wasn't my style and I didn't see the point of it. She said to me, give it about 5 years or so, you'll understand more. I just looked at her like, "what?" Sadly, I now understand what she was saying. For many people, when you get older, your skin gets more washed out and not so fresh and dewy looking like it once was. Something makeup could give you back. Though, with that new knowledge, I didn't turn to makeup, I still thought it was a hassle and just didn't care how I looked. Actually, now that I think of it. I never really cared how I looked. Well, I did but I didn't. I like to blend in with the world and not stand out. I felt makeup help stand me out. Don't ask, I don't know, LOL! Low self esteem plays a huge part of my life. Anyway, it would be several years later that makeup finally made an appearance in my life.

I guess it was going on three years since I had left my ex-husband. I never did that "I'm a new woman" makeover after I left him. I was sick and tired of my looks. I needed a change. Nothing drastic, just something different. Unsure how to accomplish it, I did what any modern age person would do. I turned to the internet for help. God bless the internet!

I was browsing YouTube and on their homepage I noticed a video of a makeup tutorial. Out of curiosity, I clicked it and watched the magic of makeup stream before my eyes. I was mesmerized. It was a video from Panacea81. I must have watched all her videos that day. I enjoyed watching her apply eye makeup and just hear her talk. She is someone I could see myself being friends with in real life. She's just a great overall person and happy she is blessed with such success.

Later on, I searched for more beauty tutorials. I only watched videos that got tons of views and had good quality. I know that shuts out a good majority of beauty gurus, but I was looking to learn. I then stumbled upon MakeupGeekTV and fell in love with Marlena. She is exactly what I was looking for. She had the makeup 101's to advance, spoke clearly and explained techniques well. Her wonderful personality was a great bonus too.

I soon found other YouTube beauty gurus to watch and follow, but it wasn't until recently I wanted to see and know more. After watching a Petrilude video of how he learned how to apply makeup, I went out and got books to read. I don't plan on going anywhere with my new found passion. I just want to learn to better myself. If it takes me elsewhere, I will do my best to nurture that flower and bloom. For right now, I am just going to keep practicing, because God knows I need to, and watching the pros create their magic with a sweep of a brush.

Have I transformed/ had a makeover yet? Not quite, but I am hoping to soon. When I do decide to have my makeover, it will be everything "Me." I wouldn't want to be anyone else but me. The makeover I want to do is to make me feel better about myself and go beyond where I haven't gone before. I just want to try something new for my new journeys ahead.

(This totally should have gone up as one of my first blog posts. I just never got around to it. Not only that, but things have slightly changed since I created this blog.)

Double Fail Monday

Screenshot of ABCNews.com/Entertainment

First fail: Shame on Ashley Judd's Makeup artist for using light reflective powder to set her under eye contour makeup. Just because it says HD powder on it doesn't make it photo ready. Tsk! Tsk!

Second Fail: Fail on whomever posted this on ABCNews site and thought that Ashley didn't rub in her face makeup. They clearly have no clue what they are talking about.

Hit or Miss: Part 1

I know in the past I would review products and write a blog on them. Sometimes, I would make the blog as wordy as possible to make it an actual post rather than me saying "I liked it" or "I hate it." I figured for some of the products that I have tried and haven't written a review yet, I would do a Hit or Miss list with them. That way it's easier for me and gives you more things to see other than random rambles by me, haha! :D

I originally was going to do this with just Health & Beauty products, but then I thought, "why stop there?" So, in the future, I may add other things in my "Hit or Miss" blogs. Oh yeah, I am hoping to do a "Hit or Miss" series. Probably should have mentioned that first. I need sleep. I have been up all night, then again, I work night shift so it's natural for me. Anyway......

Urban Decay Primer Potion in a bottle

Let me just say that I love Urban Decay Primer Potion. I use it daily. I hate the bottle. Everyone who uses this knows the bottle design was a complete fail and ends up slicing it open to get the remaining product out. The bottle design is the only reason why this is a miss.

Urban Decay Primer Potion Tube

Two thumbs up for Urban Decay. They recently started putting their wonderful product in a more accessible container.

Two Faced First Base

Since we are on shadow/ eye make up primers, this is Two Face First Base. Now, Two Face has a primer potion just like Urban Decay and more than likely the same formula, but I wanted to try something different so I picked this up. I should have really looked at the product before buying it. I think I actually bought it online from Sephora. I can't recall. Anyway, this is shimmer hell. I am not a fan of frosty or overly shimmery things. This is just that, over the top shimmer. So, not for me.

Benefit High Beam

Ok, I know I just said I am not a fan of frost and shimmer yet I list this and it's nothing but frost and shimmer. There is a reason. I love using this to add highlight to my cheekbones, brow bone, to illuminate lightly all over for a dewy look etc. This is not over the top. I am sure it could be if you way over used it, but this for me is the right amount of shimmer I need where I want it. I currently have this in sample form, but a little goes a long way. Once it's out, yo better believe that I will be repurchasing this "super model in a model."

Rimmell London Max Volume
Mascara

My lashes need every little help they can get. I was not blessed with "look at me eyelashes." I heard several YouTube beauty gurus rave about this product. I thought, "well, it's not gonna break the bank if I buy it." So I tried it. I loved it. It did what it promised and what the gurus had said. Why is it in the miss category then? Good question. See, the thing is, it's great for wearing in short durations or instances that don't call for rising temperatures. I wore this to work one night. I'm a nurse and I am up and down all the time. I would say 3 hours or less into the shift, I went to the bathroom and looked into the mirror. I noticed that my mascara was making itself known on place where it shouldn't have. After fixing that problem, I continued to work. By the time I got home, I think I about wore off the mascara on my face. I thought maybe I applied it too fast that night and tried it again the second night. Nope, same thing. I wanted to like it, but it lacks staying power.

Laura Mercier Caviar Eyeliner

I love, love, love this eyeliner. I use this the most out of all my eyeliners. It's well pigmented, it has the best staying power and stays put where it should. It's smuggable. It can be applied to be very clean looking. It can be messy. You name it, it can do it. I've been using this over a year. It lasts forever. I like the clean look this gives. I use my angled eyeliner brush from Sonia Kashuk, wet the brush, dip it in the product, and line my eyes. I cannot rave enough about this product.

Laura Mercier Camouflage Concealer

I have to admit, this is the only higher end concealer I have used and tried. The many concealers that I have used in the past were drugstore brands like Physicians Formula and one you will see next in this blog. I am not knocking PF, they are okay, but not great. Laura Mercier Camo on the other hand is great. It does exactly what it's suppose to....conceal. It even conceals the most stubborn spots and blends very well. I love the dual colors it offers. They work well together or separate.

Hard Candy Concealer Palette

I love that there are different color concealers in this palette. It makes it very versatile and easy to travel with. Sadly, this is nothing but a greasy, sheer pot of crap. Have you ever stuck your finger in shortening before? Well, this is what it felt like to me when I stuck my finger in it for the first time a couple weeks ago. Even though it felt greasy, I still gave it a try. When I applied it, it did nothing. How surprising. I knew something that greasy would be nothing but sheer. I read other reviews on it and people were saying you can build it up. What? Eeew! Why? Building up with this would cause nothing but creases. Ick. This is SO a miss for me.

L'Oreal Magic Smooth Souffle

When I first put this on it felt awesome. It just glided well all over my face. It is a light coverage foundation, but the color matched me well and felt like air on my skin. Then I looked into the mirror. I am plagued with dry skin. My T Zone is the damn Sierra Dessert. This stuff settles into my dry areas and looks like sand dunes on my dry skin. I wanted to love this, but my skin told me different.

CeraVe Face Cleanser and Lotion

I know the product looks so generic and unappealing, but my skin loves it. The facial cleanser helps reduce the redness/ rosacea on my cheeks and where ever redness decides to sneak up on me. It feels like lotion when applied and very gentle on my face. As for the lotion, it's gentle enough for my face and strong enough for my body. I love it. It gives just the right amount of moisture needed everywhere and doesn't feel like grease on my face or anywhere else. I've been using this well over a year and really can tell a difference in my skin, mainly my face. I have tried more expensive products and they never gave me the result this has.

Well, that's it for this round of "Hit or Miss." It's bed time for me. I hope you all enjoyed my reviews. Remember, everyone is different so not everyone is going to have the same effect. These are my opinions and mine alone. I am not affiliated with any companies mentioned. I bought everything with my own hard earn cash.

Have a great day y'all!